Первая сцена
Barbie, let’s run towards the water. Okay. My feet! Oh no. Oh no, Barbie, I don’t even have context for this, but my feet, my heels are on the ground. I’m no longer on tiptoes. That’s okay, let me see. You know, you’re gonna have to visit Weird Barbie. I have never had to visit Weird Barbie. That’s because you’ve never malfunctioned. I heard that she used to be the most beautiful Barbie of all, but then someone played with her too hard in the real world. Hi. Welcome. Welcome to my weird house. Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you. What can I do you for? I just had to come see you about my feet. They’re, um… Flat? Yeah. Never seen that before. Really? Okay, well, can you…You know, fix them. You’re stereotypical Barbie, right? Mm-hmm. Anyway, what preceded this? Oh, nothing. A really fun game of volleyball. That’s it? Thoughts of death. What is it? Maybe some thoughts of death? Thoughts of death? Is that a problem? Oh. What? I’ve heard of this. Of course, I didn’t think it was possible. But it’s real. Oh, you’ve done it. You’ve opened a portal. I didn’t open a portal. Someone did. And now there is a rip in the continuum that is the membrane between Barbie land and the real world. And if you want to be stereotypical Barbie perfect again, then baby girl, you gotta go fix it. You’re gonna keep going funny. Look at your upper thigh. What is that? That’s cellulite. That’s gonna spread everywhere. And then you’re gonna start getting sad and mushy and complicated. No! What do I have to do? You have to go to the real world. And you have to find the girl who’s playing with you. Playing with me? We’re all being played with, babe. But usually there’s some kind of separation. Thanks. There’s the girl and the doll and never the twain shall cross. The twain is crossing? Yes. And the girl who’s playing with you, she must be sad. And her thoughts and feelings and humanness are interfering with your dullness. Why would she be sad? We fixed everything so that all women in the real world can be happy and powerful. And you gotta help her to help yourself. So she don’t… So, what’ll it be then? You can go back to your regular life and forget any of this ever happened? Or you can know the truth about the universe. The choice is now yours.
Вторая сцена
Good job. Let’s go, funny guy. I’m gonna leave. Do you hate your country, Mr. Allen? What? Do you hate America? No. Of course not. Then why are you plotting to attack it? What? I think you’re the wrong guy. Oh, I’m sorry. Was I speaking to you? We’ve been tracking you, Mr. Allen. We know who you are. We know what you’re planning. This is insane. Do you think I’m a terrorist? Why did you purchase these plane tickets at the last minute? It was a spontaneous vacation. Oh, right. I was just saying to Agent Tweed how I wanted to take a fun-filled vacation to Lincoln, Nebraska. Are you currently a member of PersianWifeFinder.com? Yes, but you don’t understand. Yes? Who is that? Faranoosh. It was nothing. I can explain. I can explain. Explain this, jackhole. Have you recently started taking flying lessons? Yes. Oh, come on!
Why did you learn Korean? Are you aligned with the North Koreans? No! What? You were married for only six months. Was that some sort of immigration thing? You were married? Yes! Oh! That was a long time ago. I was going to tell you. I was going to tell her. I just never… Start talking, Carl. If that is your real name.
Аудио тест (скоро)