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I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. A boy and girl meet. They fall in love. He buys a ring. She buys a dress. They say, I do. I was wrong. That’s getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition. I know. I’ve just been through one. Not my own. My daughter’s. Annie Banks McKenzie. That’s her married name. McKenzie. I’ll be honest with you. When I bought this house 17 years ago, it cost less than this blessed event in which Annie Banks became Annie Banks McKenzie. I’m told that one day I’ll look back on all of this with great affection and nostalgia. I hope so. You fathers will understand. You have a little girl. who looks up to you and adores you in a way you could never have imagined. I remember how her little hand used to fit inside mine, how she used to love to sit on my lap and lean her head against my chest. She said I was her hero. Then the day comes when she wants to get her ears pierced and wants you to drop her off a block before the movie theater. Next thing you know, she’s wearing eye shadow and high heels. From that moment on, you’re in a constant state of panic.
You worry about her going out with the wrong kind of guys, the kind of guys who only want one thing. And you know exactly what that one thing is, because it’s the same thing you wanted when you were their age. Then she gets a little older, and you quit worrying about her meeting the wrong guy, and you worry about her meeting the right guy. And that’s the biggest fear of all, because then you lose her. And before you know it, you’re sitting all alone in a big empty house wearing rice on your tux, wondering what happened to
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Oh, good. Come in. OK. Hello, Mr. Banks. It was the first time I ever hated the sound of my own name. Hi. I’ve heard so much about you. It’s great to finally meet you, sir. Sir. Two words now crossed my mind. Brown and nose. I mean, Annie talks about you so much, I feel like I already know you. Brian. Oh, Annie. So this is him. Oh, he’s just, uh, just… A little nervous. It’s like one of the situations you read about, you know, meeting the in-laws. But you two seem great. I’m sure I have nothing to be nervous about. But, uh, still… Let’s, uh, let’s, uh, go into the, uh… Great. I think he’s adorable. I don’t like him. Oh, George. He’s wearing Nikes.
Brian, what is it exactly that you do? Annie was saying something about computers. Yes, I’m an independent communications consultant. Yeah, that part I heard. Sounds fake, right? Like it’s not a real job? No, we wouldn’t say that, no. And why are you independent? What was that? Because no one can afford to keep him on staff. Well, that’s true, basically. You know, Driving down here, I tried to put myself in your place. George. Your daughter comes home after spending four months in Rome. And I’m sure you couldn’t wait to see her. And she shocks you with the news that she’s getting married. And to somebody you’ve never met before. I’m sure that must have been pretty heavy, to use a word from your generation. I just want to say that I’m an upstanding citizen. I’ve never been engaged before. I’ve never really been in love before.
I think Annie is the greatest person I’ve ever met. I can’t wait to marry her and one day have children. Grandchildren. And I’m going to do my best to be supportive of her dreams. And she’s a very gifted architect. I’m just thrilled that I met her. I love your daughter. The feelings that I have for her are never going to change. I’m here to stay. Very good. Annie, it’s a little nippy out. You might want to put on a sweater. Oh, Dad, it’s OK. I’m kind of warm. So there’s a chill in the air, and you’ve been on a plane. Dad, I’m fine. Annie, it is kind of cold out. It is? Yeah. All right, thanks. I’ll get my jacket. Right then I realized my day had passed. She’ll always love me, of course, but not in the same way.
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