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Michelle, what have you got? I’m sorry, Lana. I wasn’t feeling very well. She got dumped. Oh, no, Michelle. What a hellish ordeal for you. But I must say, you are looking fabulous. Are we loving the way she looks all? We love the way she looks. Oh, you’re so right. She looks great. I haven’t eaten since the split. Good for you. Write about it. I can’t use my personal life for a story. understand completely. Who will use Michelle’s personal life for a story? Oh, I will. Go. No, no, no. Lana, with all due respect, Lori has no business mucking around in my personal life, and I can’t let her. I’ll do it. What? I’ll sort of do it. You will be my inspiration. For? Look at Michelle. She is a great girl, right? Yes. An amazing woman. but she has a problem hanging on to relationships and doesn’t really know what she’s doing wrong, which is like a lot of our readers. Uh-huh. So I was thinking that I could start by dating a guy and then drive him away, but only using the classic mistakes most women, like Michelle, make all the time. I’ll keep a diary of it, and it will be sort of a… Dating how to in reverse. What not to do. Yeah. How to lose a guy in ten days. Yes. Go. Bart, what’s next?
Вторая сцена
Hello. It’s me. Listen, I’m in the middle of a meeting. Can I call you back in just a minute? I miss you, Benny boo boo boo boo boo. Oh, you know what? I miss you too. What are you thinking about? I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Yeah, but what’s on your mind? I like this movie. Who is she? Who’s who? The girl you’re thinking about. Can’t hear. Oh, sweetie. I love sharing this with you. Yeah. Can’t hear and can’t see. If you don’t shut up, my boyfriend over here is going to come back and hum on your ass. Hey. Great. I’m starving. My boyfriend thinks I’m fat. I can’t eat in front of her. I can’t eat in front of you. I don’t think she’s fat. I don’t think she’s fat. Honey, look what I got for us. Look at that. Oh, wow. Go, go, go. What is it? Jumper. You have 17 messages. Message one.
Whoa. Sit down. Sit. Hi, sweetie pea. It’s me. Where are you? I’m not home. Benny, it’s Andy. Guess you’re not home. Okay, Glendo. Love you too. Bye. Thanks, honey. Yeah. So you and my mom, you talk, huh? It’s the best thing I’ve ever seen. It does not get any better than this. Look at that. Bennykins, I’m home. Hi, honey. Oh, you’re down. You’re here. You’re there. You’re like a freaking one-woman circus, Andy. So I guess this means we’re over. Yeah, I guess so. Fine. Fine.
Третья сцена
Andy! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Listen, can you forgive me, sugarpuss? Look, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry. I am way out of line, Andy. Can you give me another chance? Haven’t you had enough? Andy, look, I’m willing to do anything. Get up. Get up. I’ll do anything, Andy. Look, what do you think about… What do you think about couples therapy? Couples therapy? Couples therapy. Look, Thayer up there, he’s got this doctor. He says he’s a hell of a guy. No, I know a therapist who will work wonders with somebody like you, Benjamin. Yes, that’s what I need. I will call and schedule an emergency session. Whatever it takes. Yes. Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you for understanding. I love you, Banky. But I don’t have to like you right now. Thank you Andy.
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