Anecdote – a short amusing or interesting story
Pun – a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words that sound alike but have different meanings.
Are you good at telling anecdotes or interesting stories?
How important is a sense of humor in business?
- What are the three tomatoes doing?
- Why does papa tomato get angry?
- Explain the joke
MIA - Vincent. Do you wanna hear my "FOX FORCE FIVE" joke?
VINCENT - Sure, except I think I'm still too petrified to laugh.
MIA - No, you won't laugh because it's not funny. But if you still wanna hear it, I'll tell it.
VINCENT - I can't wait.
MIA - Ok. Three tomatoes are walking down the street, a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby tomato starts lagging behind and the poppa tomato gets really angry. Goes back and squishes him. Says - catch up. Catch up... See you around.
Say the following phrases without pauses and interruptions.
- Do you want to?
- except I think
- to
- but if you
- wanna
- and
- squishes him
Present Tenses for Stories, commentaries, and instructions
Stories
We use present tenses to informally tell or summarise stories. The simple present is used for the events - the things that happen one after another. The present continuous is used for ‘background’ - things that are already happening when the story starts, or that continue through the story and the simple perfect for the results.
Examples:
So I open the door, and I look out into the garden, and I see this man. He's wearing pyjamas and a policeman’s helmet. ‘Hello, ’ he says . . .
I come home and see some dude is having breakfast in my kitchen. I want to shout at him but I notice that he has made a nice chocolate cake. So I finish the cake with him and then kick his ass.
Commentaries
We use present tenses in commentaries too. The simple present is used for short actions and events and the simple progressive is used for longer actions and situations.
Example:
Smith passes to Messi, Messi to Ronaldo and Harris intercepts. Harris passes back to Simms, nice ball and Simms shoots!
Oxford are pulling slightly ahead of Cambridge now; they're rowing with a beautiful rhythm; Cambridge are looking a little disorganized. . .
Instructions and Demonstrations
We often use the two present tenses in a similar way to give instructions, demonstrations and directions.
Examples:
OK, let’s go over it again. You wait outside the bank until the manager arrives. Then you radio Louie, who’s waiting around the corner, and he drives round to the front entrance. You and Louie grab the manager . . .
First I put a lump of butter into a frying pan and light the gas; then while the butter's melting I break three eggs into a bowl, like this . . .
Watch to understand