Первая сцена
Easy. Easy. Ooh, okay. I’m gonna hang out here if that’s all right with you. Oh, thanks. Thank you for that. That’s very helpful. Oh, David Clark. You’re a hard man to find. What am I supposed to think, man? I mean, you got these thugs throwing a bag over my head and ? Come on. I’m so sorry about that. I did not mean to freak you out. It’s fine. You do know I have killed people, though, right? Yeah, Brad, I know. All right, have a seat. Whoa, what the fuck is that? What, oh, my Orca? Yeah, I bought an Orca. I make a lot of money. So you bought a whale? Well, I don’t like sports cars. Yeah, yeah. So where’s my money, David? Come on, man. We go back. Here’s the thing, we do go back, but it’s not college anymore, okay? We’re not just selling lids out of my dorm room. And you owe me. $43,000. I told you I got robbed, Brad. They took everything I had, man. This week’s drop, 22 grand of my own money that I’d saved. I’m fucked. Listen, this is a fucked up situation, but I might have a win-win for both of us. I have a smidge of very choice marijuana down in Mexico, and I need it here by Sunday night. But my regular courier is out on account of the fact that he got gunned down. Anyway, that’s where you come in, you could be my mule. I need someone I can trust. You go down to Mexico, bring it back here by Sunday night. Not only will I forgive your debt, I will pay you a standard courier fee of $100,000. Easy money, David. Come on, all you gotta do is pop down to Mexico, go to this address, and tell them you’re there to pick up for Pablo Chacon.
Who the fuck is Pablo Chacon? I am. Yo soy Pablo Chacon. I don’t know. I don’t think so, man. This is way out of my league. You know, if something goes wrong, that’s a federal crime. Hell, if I get pinched at the border trying to cross over with anything more than a pound, you’re talking like 25 years in a Mexican prison. And that’s if you get a happy judge. Yeah. Not good. Although you’re forgetting one thing. What? You don’t have a fucking choice.
Вторая сцена
So now you’re gonna become an even bigger drug dealer? Drug smuggler, Kenny. There’s a difference. I mean, no offense, you look like a total drug dealer. No shit. Thanks, dude. You could wear a disguise. What? A disguise. Okay, that’s what I thought you said. A disguise. So what, I should dress up like, uh, I don’t know, what’s the hot Halloween outfit these days? Bane from Batman, something like that? Or something over my fucking face? Oh, there’s no drugs in here, you have nothing to worry about. Great idea. I sure hate to bug you fellas, but I’m trying to get the fam up to the zoo and I’m lost as all heck. Yeah, fuck off real life, Flanders. It’s my fault. When it comes to reading maps, I sure can’t be an old flibberty gibbet. Hey, no parking here, sir. Perfect. Fucking tourist. Oh, jeez. I’m awful sorry, officer. I just don’t know which way is up around here. No problem. Our city can get confusing sometimes. We’re trying to find our way to the zoo. It’s two blocks up that way.
Holy fucking shit. Thank you, dickheads!
Третья сцена
I need you to be my wife. That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Look, Rose, $10,000, and your flight’s already paid for it. You can’t buy me. I’m not buying you, all right? I’m renting you. Oh. Like Pretty Woman. Pretty Woman? She was a prostitute. And I don’t trust you. Well, I’m thinking maybe a roof over your head, some actual hot food. That’d be good enough. I’m thinking a thousand. Fine. A thousand bucks, but that’s it. Great. And if we get caught, I’ll say you drugged and kidnapped me. Cool? Yeah, it’s cool. Yeah, that’s fine. But that’s it. Kenny, meet your new sister. Here, you know what? Just give me a little peace and quiet and go buy yourself some new clothes. You know, the kind of stuff that loved children wear, not this garbage. All right? Thank you.
Okay, what are we doing today? Yeah, I say, give me something that says I get up every morning at 5.30 and commute for an hour and a half to some bullshit job where my jag-off boss expects me to kiss his balls all day just so I can afford to keep my ungrateful screaming kids decked out in Dora the Explorer shit and my wife up to her fat ass in self-help videos until the day I get up the courage to put a shotgun in my mouth. Right here. Yeah. That’s it. Sorry. Honey, hi. You made it. Mm-hmm. Eat a dick. Sorry. Sorry. Wow, you look really, like, very young. Don’t. Just don’t, all right? Mm-hmm. I want $30,000 now. No fucking way. Okay, have a safe flight. No, okay, fine.
What’s this? This thing is ridiculous. I don’t know. How fast does it go? Here we go. Everybody just be cool, all right? Hey there. We got the Miller family here reporting for leisure, sir. We’re just heading down to Mexico way to do a… Oh, okay. Great, fantastic. All right, thank you. Take care now. All right.
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