Первая сцена
Hi, I’m Kate. I met you on Friday. Yeah, I remember. Well, I found your number in my husband’s phone. I thought maybe we could talk. No, we can’t. If you have any questions about your husband, you should ask him. Oh, well, I would, but I’m pretty sure he’s lying to me and sleeping with you. Am I right? Oh, am I right? You’re sleeping with my husband? Sorry, I had no idea. You’re sleeping with my husband? Would you please keep it down? Oh, gosh. Oh. So how long have you and my husband been seeing each other? I don’t know, a couple months. So when did you just start sleeping together? We’re adults. We had sex. I really don’t think that the details matter. The details do matter because there’s a difference between having sex one time and having sex ten times. Oh my God. Did you do it more than ten times? I think specifics are a bad idea. Okay, fine. Guns in my head. Fifty. Fifty times? Fifty times?
You had sex with my husband 50 times? Don’t you have a job? Or hobbies? What’s wrong with you? I quit my job so that we could focus on his job. I put off having kids because he wasn’t ready. So what do I do now? I am not equipped to go on dates. The last time I was single, I was 24, and the dating pool was everyone. And now it’s like a shallow puddle of age-appropriate men who are old and gross, and I don’t want to do that. I know that you think that it’s that bad, Honestly, it’s a lot worse. You know why? Because even if you meet a nice guy, and when I mean nice, I mean that he’s not an obvious sociopath, you can’t even actually get excited about it. You know why? Because it’s just a matter of time before someone gets bored and unhappy and is saying that it’s over. And that’s a happy ending. A shitty ending is that there’s lying and cheating and you ambush Prince Charming’s wife.
So you’re saying I should stay with him? I’m saying that everything fails eventually, and monogamy is not natural. If you can live with that, like the French, then go ahead and stay put. But if you can’t, then I suggest that you get a game plan and you leave. But what about the people who try to work it out? Maybe that would be an option. Cheaters don’t change. And if you work it out, he’s just going to do it again.
Вторая сцена
I need the truth. You want to know the truth? Your husband sucks. I am not sleeping with him. And the fact that you think that I would really hurts. Well, shit. I don’t know. All I know is what I heard. I’m meeting someone! Well, then it’s not me, so he must be cheating on both of us. Oh my god, that’s it! He’s cheating on us! No, I was kidding about that! No, no, no! If he’s not seeing you, which I’m so sorry I said that, that was, that was, that sucks, I’m sorry. But if he isn’t seeing you, he’s seeing someone else. Think about it, Kate. Think about it. Between the two of us, he has a perfect woman. What else would he need? The one thing we’re not giving him. Sex. Hey. Whoop. He’s up.
Wow, really? What’s he doing? Kissing. Uh-huh. Oh, come on! What is that? Let me see. Let me see. OK, but you’re not going to like it. Oh! This is just so unoriginal, Mark. So cliche. She’s wrong when I’m mad! Woohoo! I just can’t believe you’d lie to me. I really thought we were soulmates. Oh my God, I am so sorry. I can’t believe I just said that. You’re his soulmate, I’m a whore. No. You must hate me so much right now. But if it’s any consolation, right now I hate me more. I don’t hate you. I don’t hate you at all. I got all of that out of my system with that one. How can you be so amazing? You could be friends with your husband’s mistress. Yeah, it’s like a dream come true.
You know, the worst part about this is you seemed so nice, and this whole time he had me believing you were the devil. Wait, what? He said that you cheated on him and then asked for a divorce. He said that I was the cheater? That’s what he said? That I cheated? I’m so sorry. That is so… Okay, well, that’s… He’s a liar, Kate. Who cares what he says? Because it’s not fair. And he made me the bad guy. Okay, let’s go. Wait, what am I supposed to do? You guys can’t just leave me. Mark’s gonna be back from the gym any minute. We’ll get your number. Can we keep her? No, we can’t keep her. We already have a dog at home.
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